Thoughts and Feelings

When I tell people that I am about to go live in Korea for a year, most of the time it is met with this look.

That is usually followed by many questions and statements such as "That is so exciting, but I could never do that!" or "Which one? North or South?" (🤨). To be truthful, most of the time I am surprised too that I am actually doing this. In my last blog post, I described how teaching English abroad has been something I've wanted to do for some time now. Although that is still true, now that I have signed the paperwork and am preparing to leave the country, I have to be honest - I am very, very nervous.

I suppose it is a good mix of emotions that I am currently feeling - excitement, apprehension, nervousness, hope, and fear. Excitement and fear hold the most amount of space in this bundle of feelings. I feel as though when people study abroad or move abroad, it can seem like such a spectacular experience. Social media shows us all the positives of what it is like to live in a new country. They show us what it's like to have access to other cultures, a variety of different foods, and new cities to explore. But I feel as though I rarely read about what people are actually feeling on these trips and not just what has been carefully curated to post on Instagram. I leave for Korea in less than a month and I hope to be able to use this blog site as a way to be honest, to you all and with myself, about everything I am experiencing.

I am the most scared about not being able to see the closest people in my life ... it gives me a pit in my stomach. If I think about it too much, I can really go into an unhealthy mindset about the whole situation. I have learned to approach this new chapter of my life by thinking about it just one day at a time. This seems like the obvious choice to make but my mind always go to "You aren't seeing your best friends and family for a year! They are going to move on without you, what are you going to do about that?!". I have to recognize these feelings and then remind myself that these thoughts aren't true and hopefully I will began believing myself.

Although I do encompass some of these heavier feelings, I don't want that to take away from the excitement I feel about moving to Korea. One of the biggest things that excites me is the FOOD! I cannot wait to have authentic Korean food readily available for me whenever I want. I'm also just excited about all of the things that living in a new city offers - new sights to see, new people to meet, future trips to go on, etc! Korea has some of the coolest shops, restaurants, and coffee shops that I have ever seen and I am ready to explore these places too. One small thing that excites me is the quick and easy access of public transportation that Korea offers. Since I am used to having very poor access to public transportation, this is something that I am really looking forward to.

This last month has been extremely hectic with preparation for my departure. Between medical exams, background checks, visa applications (and the anxiety of sending my passport in the mail to Atlanta), this month has flown by. When I started this website, I had about 100 days until I left. Now I have less than 30. I am waiting to find out when my flight will be so I know my set send off date. It will either be Jan 9th or Jan 10th... so if you want to see me before then, please reach out to me! I think this will be my last post until I am in Korea. I will try to make a post after about a week or so of being there. Talk to you in Korea!